Clockwork Memories Read online

  I didn’t dress Faith in the clothes they brought for her either. I knew how she felt about people seeing her body. I wasn’t about to take her clothes off and undress her in front of a men she hated.

  I sat beside her, waiting for Jacques to arrive and bring us new torment. When I closed my eyes and stopped the chattering of my mind, I felt the change in the ship’s humming. The floor under my feet didn’t vibrate in the same way. Something in my ears felt different. We were slowing.

  At last Jacques came for us.

  They tied my hands behind my back and gagged me. He would let no one touch Faith besides himself. I suppose Jacques must have had a small heart, even if it was a flawed one. He tied her hands in front of her and he kept an arm around her as he walked. He didn’t rush her like he had with me earlier. He set his pace to match her smaller gait and when her footsteps became unsteady, he allowed her to rest. This made the journey slow. It gave me time to observe the hunched posture of one guard and the labored breath of another. I studied my enemies’ weaknesses.

  Charbonneau pushed Meriwether in a chair with wheels. The old servant limped, but kept up.

  Every once in a while, the aroma of memory moss wafted toward me. It took me a minute to realize the smell came from Charbonneau. There were bulges in his pockets and he looked a little fatter in the middle than I remembered. He caught me looking at him and looked away. I couldn’t understand why he would carry memory moss on his person when there was plenty of it on the ship already.

  The slow journey gave me time to work the bottom of my sleeve up toward my hand by bunching up the fabric. Eventually my hand came to rest on the hilt of my dagger. I grabbed onto it, making sure to keep my hand hidden inside the sleeve.

  When I thought about killing Jacques, it saddened me, but only because I knew it would hurt Faith. Part of her still loved him. Part of her loved Meriwether. She would always feel torn between Meriwether and Jacques.

  So long as they both lived.

  The ship was full of heavy thunks and clinks as we approached the dock in a chamber next to the cargo bay. There were five guards with us in total, all armed. Three held laser rifles in their hands. A few second later, we stopped at a door. The men shifted from foot to foot in agitation. Although the men towered over Faith and me, they weren’t looking at us. They stared at the door.

  I rubbed the sharp edge of glass against the rope binding my hands together. My heart sped up, afraid that at any moment I would be caught. They would hear the shredding of the rope or notice the slight motion of my wrist sawing away.

  The door slowly rose, revealing another chamber. We stepped forward and waited at another door. There was a window but it wasn’t very big and I wasn’t at the right angle to see anything other than the gray metal on the other side. The door slowly lifted. I saw their feet first and counted six people. An older man surrounded by armed guards of his own stood on the other side. He didn’t look at all like Meriwether with his puffy silver hair and his wiry beard and mustache making him look like an angry tanuki. From the way his eyes went wide, seeing Meriwether bandaged up in a chair, I knew him to be Meriwether’s father. He was younger than I expected. I thought Faith had said he was supposed to be in his seventies, but perhaps she had got it wrong.

  A small gap separated us from them. Lord Klark made to step forward, but one of his men put a hand on his arm and shook his head. I could already see he was an impulsive man, one whose emotions could be easily manipulated by a man such as Jacques.

  Lord Klark cleared his throat. “My son. Bring me my son.”

  “Of course,” Jacques said.

  Charbonneau pushed the chair forward, but Jacques raised a hand to stop him. “First, you have something I want.”

  Lord Klark waved man forward. “The babbage file.”

  Jacques gestured for one of his own men to step forward. The man looked as if each step pained him. He took the file before retreating a step and handed it to Jacques.

  “Now, my son,” Lord Klark said.

  Charbonneau pushed Meriwether past that line where the door had risen. I tried to saw the rope faster without drawing attention to myself. I accidentally pricked my finger, and adjusted my grip.

  “You don’t mind if I confirm the information on this, do you?” Jacques smiled a little too cloyingly. “Just for old time’s sake.”

  He pulled out a metal contraption at his belt and entered the small rectangle into the slab of metal. It clicked and whirred.

  The rope around my wrists loosened and came free. I let the pieces slip into the pockets one of my sleeves.

  The guard behind me breathed as though winded. When I turned my head, I could see one soldier hunched forward, as if fighting the urge to curl up. It was hard to tell without completely turning and drawing attention to myself. It was possible Eli had managed to slip something into their food. If I could wait just a couple seconds longer I would be able to attack. I just had to pick the perfect moment.

  Also, I needed to decide who to kill first.

  Lord Klark bent over Meriwether. He peeled back the bandage on one side of his son’s face. Meriwether opened his eyes and stared up at his father. He looked to Faith and back to his father. What I could see of his scabbed brow, which wasn’t much, furrowed and cracked.

  Lord Klark’s voice came out in a weak rattle. “What did you do to my son?”

  Jacques stared at his little machine. He waved a hand at Faith and me in a vague gesture. “They tell me she shot him when he came to her bed. A small wound to the leg. No serious damage there. It was his clothes catching fire that caused the true damage. Ah well. You hired the best surgeons in the past to patch him up. No doubt you’ll do so again.”

  Lord Klark’s eyes raked over me and then Faith.

  “This is supposed to be my son’s wife and mistress?” he asked.

  “So they tell me.”

  Lord Klark shook his head. I could tell he didn’t believe Jacques. “I suppose you tell me this because you expect I will want them too and make some new bargain with you to acquire them.”

  “Not at all. You were the one who ahem, requested, to see them.” From the way Jacques said it, I suspected it hadn’t been a request at all. I wasn’t sure which message Lord Klark had received that alerted him of our presence, one Meriwether had written to him or one Faith had sent. Or both. There were likely to be contradictions if he had received both.

  Lord Klark crossed his arms. He studied Faith, chewing on the whiskers of his mustache. He was nervous. I glanced at Jacques. A bead of sweat trickled down his temple. He wasn’t as sweaty and nervous as his men, but he wasn’t at ease either.

  Charbonneau leaned toward Lord Klark. “If you don’t mind my saying so, sir, I wouldn’t put much value on those two ladies. They’re more trouble than they’re worth.”

  Jacques looked up. “Charbonneau, what are you doing over there? Aren’t you returning with me?”

  Charbonneau bowed his head. “Thank you for the offer, but I’ll remain over here with his lordship.” He cleared his throat. “Excuse me, Lord Klark, but don’t forget about the prototype. You’ll want to make sure he hands that over as well.”

  Jacques’ eyes narrowed. Charbonneau was changing alliances again?

  I watched him as warily as Jacques did. I knew why he had memory moss on him now. He understood how it was used to create the chiramantep stones. He would only need to feed it to one of the animals and they would excrete the stones. We had the chiramantep in the cargo bay from the journey to the planet, but it was possible Lord Klark had some of his own or would soon be appropriating them. Lord Klark, via Charbonneau, had the key to making the clockwork engines work.

  Faith pointed at Meriwether. Her breathing came out a pant. She looked ill, but I was certain she hadn’t eaten anything that would harm her. Perhaps this was merely a distraction. I readied the dagger in my hand.

  Meriwether stood from his rolling chair. His legs shook and Charbonneau placed an arm under his elbow
to steady him.

  Lord Klark turned to face his son. “What is it, Meriwether?”

  Meriwether extended a hand toward Faith.

  Her lips parted. She lifted her hand higher. She shook as much as he did.

  A loud, rude noise arrested everyone’s attention. One of the men next to me passed gas so loudly it was like the roar of an animal. A fetid stench came from the French guard next to Jacques. He groaned and doubled over. Jacques jumped back, disgust painting his features.

  The men gazed at the brown stain soiling the guard’s pants. My eyes watched Faith. She wasn’t reaching for Meriwether. She reached for Lord Klark. Or more accurately, she aimed a gun at him.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  A sugar fruit tree that is dead will not blossom.

  —Ancient Jomon proverb

  I didn’t know when or how Faith had acquired a gun, but I was impressed she’d hidden it so well in her puff sleeve. The gun was still half hidden under the cuff of her sleeve, only the barrel now visible as she lifted her hand.

  Once it had been Faith’s goal to see Lord Klark and kill him. Her face twisted in pain. I could see the battle raging inside her as clearly as I could see the stars in the sky on a clear night. There was burning hatred in her eyes, but just as quickly it flashed into pity and compassion. This was Meriwether inside her not wanting to kill his father. Her expression changed back to the Faith I knew, but Meriwether wouldn’t let her be herself. She was too much him. She would be unable to kill Lord Klark with Meriwether living inside her. Nor did I know if he could forgive her if she did.

  She remained poised as if still deciding. She waited a moment too long. In that split second when attention had been diverted, she could have struck with surprise. I flipped the blade of my knife under so I palmed the hilt and it was flat against my wrist where it would do no damage to her. I dove, placing my hand over hers before anyone realized what I was doing.

  I positioned my finger over hers, aimed at Lord Klark and shot him.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The earth always hardens after the rain.

  —Ancient Jomon proverb

  Time slowed, each moment drawn out in an eternity. My heart pounded in my ears. All sounds were drowned out. Charbonneau dove, trying to place himself between Lord Klark and the laser fire of the gun. The beam of light cut both of them down. Meriwether launched himself forward, toppling Faith over, whether to attack her or shield her I couldn’t tell. The pistol was torn from my hand and went flying through the air.

  I fell forward reaching for the gun with both hands as it dropped. Blue light shot out from the pistols of Lord Klark’s men. I felt a pinch in my left hand. It blossomed into a hot sting that jolted up my hand and made the nerves of my arm feel on fire, but only for a second. I ducked down as laser fire broke out above our heads.

  I landed on the metal grating, all the air momentarily knocked out of me. My makeshift dagger lay an inch in front of my right hand. I couldn’t stop staring at my left. My fingers were missing. Only my thumb and part of my pinky remained. There was no blood, just a black place at the edge like my hand was burnt meat. I blinked. This couldn’t be real. It felt like a dream. How could I not have noticed my fingers getting burned off? I flexed my hand.

  That’s when the pain set in. I screamed. Or I thought I did, but I couldn’t hear it. I couldn’t even hear my heartbeat now, only Jacques’ laugh echoing in my ears.

  He looked at me like he owned the world, like he couldn’t have planned this moment better. Had he planned it? Had he known Faith had the gun?

  Jacques punched a panel next to the door. It slowly descended toward Meriwether and Faith sprawled in the middle of the floor.

  The world around me spun. I blinked and forced the nausea away. I picked up the dagger, took aim, and hurled it through the air at Jacques. It sped like an arrow toward the place a man’s heart should have been in his chest. I wasn’t sure he had one, but the blade hit its mark. Jacques’ smile faded. His brow furrowed and he looked down and then back up at me. His mouth opened, but no words came out. I stared into the sorrow expressed in his one human eye. For half a second I felt bad for killing him. That was all the pity I allowed myself to feel. He didn’t deserve any more. He dropped to his knees and fell forward.

  My breath rushed out of me in a whoosh. My hearing returned. It felt as though a spell had been broken. A loud buzzing alarm was going off. Red lights flashed above our heads. It caught my attention, but I didn’t know what it meant. The floor rumbled under my feet like when we were about to take off.

  Men were strewn about all over the floor. I couldn’t tell who was alive and who was dead. Puddles of blood mixed with fetid pools from emptied bowels. Charbonneau crawled away. He didn’t have any arms and he wiggled across the floor like the worm he was.

  Meriwether cradled Faith to his chest. I could see now he hadn’t meant to hurt her. He looked to her with such love and tenderness it was obvious he knew her. Did he still have her memory, the one he had told her he couldn’t part with? Or did he simply know her because his body remembered the feel of her in his arms? Perhaps the elders had gotten the idea of memory exchange wrong when they said pieces of a kamuy were removed in memory exchange. Meriwether’s memories were gone, yet his kamuy had never left him. His kamuy still knew her and recognized her even if his eyes didn’t.

  My heart swelled, simultaneously happy and sad to see such love. Faith deserved someone to love her so deeply.

  I didn’t feel so bad for shooting Lord Klark or stabbing Jacques now. I had made her choice between the two of them a little easier.

  Meriwether lifted his head. I thought I saw her arm move and her fingers twitch, but I wasn’t sure. I wanted her to be alive. I needed her to be. After all this, I wanted her to have a happy ending with someone she loved. Even if that person wasn’t me.

  Meriwether’s eyes locked onto mine and narrowed. He might not know me, but he knew what I’d done. I’d just killed two men in his presence. I pointed to the door about to descend on them. He looked up and saw it coming. He held Faith to his chest as he rolled over just in time to clear the two of them from the door’s path. Only he rolled the wrong way. He rolled away from me.

  “Sir! Hurry, before the airlocks close!” Charbonneau shouted from the door farther past Meriwether.

  Meriwether’s eyes were locked on Faith’s. He stroked her hair out of her face and said something to her only she could hear. She turned her head and saw me just as the door came down between us.

  I crawled to the door, but it was already closed. I pounded on it with my good hand. I had to make sure she was all right. I didn’t know if she had been shot. I forced myself to stand so I could peer through the little window to watch him carry her through another door where Charbonneau waited for him. Meriwether ducked under. That one was also closing.

  My knees shook and I didn’t think I could stay upright for a moment longer.

  I turned around to find the door behind me sliding downward, just as his was doing. I didn’t know if it was bad to be caught in this chamber when the ship took off, but I pushed myself toward it anyway.

  My hand throbbed so strongly it took my concentration from my feet. They wobbled underneath me like a drunk man’s. My kamuy must have rushed to the injured place in my hand and left the rest of my body vacant. I forced myself forward and tripped over a man’s body. I crawled the rest of the way and then rolled sideways to get out from the chamber.

  I’d just made it to the other side and heard the door hiss closed when I saw one of my long sleeves hadn’t made it. The door cleaved it right off, taking the pocket with it. Too bad it hadn’t taken the other useless sleeve with it.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  If a woman wants something, she will cross the galaxy to get it.

  —Ancient Jomon proverb

  Lord Klark was dead. Jacques was dead. I should have felt some relief. A week had passed since I’d shot them and their deaths still haunted my memories.
I stood alone in the cargo bay with the chiramantep. They slumbered in their cages now that I had turned the lights off for them.

  I stared at my hand in the dim lighting, as if darkness would make it better. Two fingers were completely missing, the pointer and middle finger. I had less than a knuckle of my pointer finger and less than that of my last finger. The burns were healing. The pink, lumpy skin reminded me of Faith’s scars on her face and down the side of her neck and arm. I’d gotten so used to seeing them on her, I hadn’t noticed them when I looked at her. Of course, she said she couldn’t ever forget they were there. I now understood how she felt.

  But for me it was more than vanity. I would never be able to hold a staff or fight. I could no longer protect myself or anyone I loved. Tears filled my eyes. What if the soldiers in the brig escaped? I wouldn’t be able to fight them. Eli had promised them he would allow them to live and would drop them off at the next space port we came to, so long as they didn’t make trouble. Eli didn’t like killing much.

  I didn’t like killing either, but I didn’t trust those pirates for one second. My compromise was to drug them before we dumped them at a port. That way they wouldn’t try to kill us the moment they were set free.

  I clenched my fist, hating the way I expected to feel my fingers press against my skin even though I knew they were gone. I almost felt them at times, but then when I reached for a plate or a tool and dropped it, their absence haunted me like a ghost.

  My fingers weren’t all that had been robbed from me.

  I swallowed the tightness in my throat and forced back the tears as I thought of Faith. Another part of me was missing. I told myself it was for the best. She was with someone who would love her. She had Meriwether’s memories and they had memory moss to make him whole again. They would be together and there was no room in their lives with me crowding it. This was a happy ending for them.